


Does Hux Want A Dicking?

by missred



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Hospitals, overuse of the word dick, this is trash just a heads up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6650959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missred/pseuds/missred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo is an Idiot and Hux has dead eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does Hux Want A Dicking?

Kylo orders a boiling hot coffee to go. Black, like his soul, he thinks to himself, and laughs because he's  _ funny  _ damn it. He ambles over the library, coffee in hand, and plunks down at a table on the first floor. He heaves his shit out onto the table in the library because he has to get this Poly-Sci paper done tonight, even if the only solution he can think of right now is maybe just let them all die. But he heaves a little too hard, because when he drops his books on the table with a flourish he accidentally brushes against the coffee cup and it wobbles and plummets, lidless, right onto his crotch.

Kylo's gotten tattoos done before, he's tough.He only lets out a little whimper before he grabs his bag, leaving the books and notes and all of it out on the table,stalks out of the library and plunks face first into the light dusting of snow on the ground.There shouldn't be snow, it's  _ April _ , but kylo isn't complaining right now.He calls Phasma with with his face flat on the ground, and fights the urge to pull his pants off.

"Phas--I'm outside the library and, um, I need you to drive me to the ER. Right now immediately."

She's not happy. She's got a final on fascist regimes in 12 hours and she doesn't say more than 10 words the whole ride, starting with

"Get in!" shouted contemptuously from the driver’s side where she's double parked in front of the library.

Kylo slides into the passenger seat and she holds one hand up as she speeds through a red light, cutting him off with cold "I don't care." to whatever Kylo is about to tell her. 

She barely stops in front of the doors to the ER and she’s peeling away almost before Kylo’s out of the car, shouting Find your own ride home  _ Ben _ !" with roughly as much venom as a viper.

Kylo limps into the ER and mutters to the nurse at the front desk. She eyes him skeptically, not seeing any obvious injuries. Until he says, 

"I spilled coffee and I may have burned my dick and I think these pants have fused to my thighs.”

She pages a doctor. Kylo collapses in a chair.

The doctor who comes the doors of the waiting room does not have a particularly kind looking face. In fact he's got a look in his eyes that reminds Kylo of a mean old cat that used to hang around his house, torturing mice before it killed them. It could just be his eyes. Could be the pain. Kylo's holding it together but the truth is he wants to be screaming and the only reason he isn't is because he's digging a finger under his ribcage to distract from the pain that's pretty much taken over his lower half.

When the doctor calls him name, he walks over, legs shaking.

"Nurse, can i get a wheelchair?" the doctor requests, in the same bored tone he might order a latte. 

The nurse--mercifully--brings one, and kylo's legs cave in a second later. The doctor eyes him in way Kylo thinks is sort of disdainful for someone who's supposed to be a healer, and wheels him into an exam room.

"You were burned in your--"

"--Yes." Kylo interrupts, desperate to not actually have to say it out loud again.

"Right. Can you remove your pants or do you require assistance?"

Kylo isn't 100% sure he's going to be in conscious in another two minutes, and he definitely isn't sure he could wiggle out of his jeans with Dr. Disdainful watching, so he says so. Or tries.

It starts with "to be honest, doc, I'm not--"

and then Dr. Dead Eyes puts a hand on the inside of his thigh, and then the pain builds up sharp and bright and big and wells out of Kylo in a flash of red.

Or, as he's told later, he twitches, vomits, and passes out.

* * *

 

When Kylo wakes up he can't move. More accurately, he can, should be able too, but his whole body weights approximately 10,0000 pounds. A second later a redheaded nurse appears. She's nicer looking than Dr. Dead Eyes, her eyes have smiles around them. She laughs, and kylo realizes with a sort of dull mortification he's said this out loud

and also that Dr. Dead Eyes himself is standing in the doorway. He does not look amused. Kylo attributes it to the fact that he's pretty sure he's intoxicated, but he meets the doctor's stare without flinching. Then he turns to nice nurse and asks her

"m'I drunk?"

"You're on some pretty heavy duty painkillers." She tells him gently. "You'll probably feel drowsy and disoriented for a while. That's alright, it's normal."

Kylo nods, or he thinks he does. What really happens is his head lols to the side and he ends up staring directly at Dr. Dead Eyes’ crotch when he stalks over to examine Kylo's burn. He's not drowsy when cold fingers start to prod the area directly around his dick. It’s nice that they're cold hands, he guesses, but it doesn't really help in the grand scheme of things and he mumbles

“Mother _ fucker. _ Can I go back to the not awake?" he asks the nurse, who's moved to assist Dr. DeadEyesColdHands in changing his dressing. Kylo’'s kind of bothered she's there. He has a nice dick. She's not getting the full impact like this, probably. It occurs to Kylo that neither is the doctor, and it bothers him more than it should.

"I have a nice dick, generally." he tells the doctor matter of factly.

There's hint of a smirk at that, the first sign of human emotion Kylo's seen.

"I do!" he protests. That smirk feels like a challenge

"Very nice.' he mumbles, defensive.

The nurse is helping Kylo out, apparently with a large dose of the go-the-fuck-to sleepies.

"Prove it to you." he tries to say, realizing right before he passes out that he's probably missed the deadline for his Poly-Sci final. 

He doesn't wake up again until night, it's dark, and a different nurse, not the redhead one, is checking his vitals. He tries to ask something, but she shushes him softly and tells him to sleep. It's not hard to do.

In the morning, he wakes up to the feeling of hands on his dick. It's usually a much more appreciated sensation, but  right now it fuckiing hurts and kylo bolts awake sweating.

"Jesus fucking christ and his motherfucking mother.”

"That's colorful." The doctor remarks dryly.

"Fucking hurts." kylo responds, gritting his teeth.

"It's barely a second degree burn." the doctor responds, and something in his tone indicates that he's not impressed.

"You'll be fine. You're being discharged this afternoon. A nurse will be in to explain to you how to change the dressing. Don't go swimming for at least 8 weeks."

Kylo drops his head back on the pillow.

"Right." It comes out kind of bitter, but the doctor doesn't comment.

He walks out without looking back. The nurse who helps Kylo gets discharged is the same one from the first day, and he makes a concerted effort to thank her sincerely  and tries not to think about the fact that she's basically given him a handjob.

As it turns out, nurses can't sign off on doctor's notes, and Kylo needs one if he doesn't want to fail his Poly-Sci class. He needs to go find doctor--Kylo realizes he doesn't even know the guy's name and sheepishly asks the nurse. 

She tells kylo the guys name is Hux, and pages him without Kylo needing to ask.

"Dr. Huxley to the nurses station please."

There's a hint of a smile as he strides up to the nurses station, but it vanishes as soon as he sees Kylo and Kylo suddenly feels awkward and uncertain.

"Hi. Um. I need you to sign. Because I had a final before I--"

"You need a doctor’s note." Hux says slowly.

"Yeah. I had a final paper and I was writing it when. And now it's past the deadline so if you could sign off, so I don't."

Kylo stopped. He never rambled, but this guy made him feel ridiculous. He was well within his rights to ask for a doctor's note.

"Sounds to me like you should have had your paper done before the night it was due." Hux says, completely serious.

"Cool awesome glad you think that, but I didn't. And I would have had it done if not for," Kylo gestures vaguely, "extenuating circumstances. So if you could just sign the paper."

Hux quirks an eyebrow and takes the clipboard from Kylo. His head is bowed, but Kylo would bet money he's smiling. When he hands the papers back his face is carefully composed, leaving Kylo totally unsure if he's just been imagining it.

But hey, what the hell, the guy's already seen his dick looking...less than prime, nothing to lose right?

"You know, maybe if you're free after all that pretending not to smile scary doctor act, we could grab a coffee sometime." Kylo says, aiming for confident, but misses a bit because his cheeks get tinged pink like some kind of  _ girl. _ What can he say? Dr. Dead Eyes--Hux-- is kinda hot.

"I really don't think coffee is the brightest idea for you, young man." Hux says, as if he's  _ so  _ much older than Kylo.

Kylo would bet he's not more than 28, and Kylo's 21, he's legal, he's not a kid.

"Iced coffee then." Kylo says, because he's nothing if not persistence and you've gotta take risks when you're playing a losing game.

"I'm a very busy man."

"I'll take that as a maybe." Kylo grins, walking out of the hospital. He's got an extension on his final and a maybe-date with the doctor who fixed his dick.

Sure, Hux didn't seem very enthusiastic, but Kylo was very, very good at persistent, and he knew where Hux worked.

**Author's Note:**

> The result of trying to give still_emo some star flavored hell. I don't particularly care for the ship and everything about this is regrettable except Phasma.


End file.
